As Good As It's Gonna Get

Have you ever looked in the mirror and just thought "I give up." Makeup? No. Hair? No. Shaving my legs? Definitely not. I do. I think this all the time. Being a stay-home mom with three kids home allllll day during the summer, things get a little....desperate. I think this when I look in my pantry and realize I need to go to the grocery store but I'm (still) in my pajamas. I think it when my kids say "I'm bored" five minutes after awakening in the morning and I think it when my eyeballs are hurting from lack of sleep but someone is hungry. Or tired. Or cranky. I think it when I haven't had coffee and people are asking me questions. I think it when my daughter starts whining. I think it when hubby is trying to nap before work and I just wanna talk. I've realized that there are many times throughout the day that I'm just surviving. And I don't even have toddlers anymore! My youngest is seven! So...what exactly is going on here?? Let me explain. If you are a stay-home momma, here are things that may ring true for you:
- Because you don't have to get dressed for work, your wardrobe will eventually crossover from daytime to nighttime. And I don't mean you can throw a cute cardi over your lbd to go from the office to the nightclub. I mean that my pajamas also function as regular clothes. So do my husband's t-shirts. And until recently, the only requirement I had for myself was that I'd wear a bra when in public. I popped my cherry at Stater Bros. recently though and haven't looked back. Bras are for sissies.
- You will be cooking or cleaning or both at any given point in the day. Unless you have a personal chef or a maid, there will always be a load of laundry that needs washing, dishes will be in the sink, crumbs will be on the counter and little mouths will chant "I'm hungry" at any given time regardless when the last meal was served. I am far from a perfectionist but after each meal, I wash dishes, wipe down the counters and vaccuum and sweep the floors. This takes up sooo much time because I'm doing it at least three times a day! Unless I cry "mercy" and hubby takes us out to eat, or I drive through Miguel's Jr. AGAIN, I don't see a break in the near future.
- You will always feel like someone is left out. Always. You're home, right? And the kids are there so everyone should feel like they are getting attention. Except that they are not. Remember all that cleaning we just talked about?? Well in between tasks, my daughter regularly requests that I sit on her bed and chat, my sons ask me to play Lego or look at Pokemon cards or they need a snack. Again. And then there's hubby. Let's not forget his needs. He gets hungry too, needs affection and sometimes, I just want to sit with him and drink coffee or read scripture together without interruption. This rarely happens. So you will feel pulled in a million directions and just never feel like you are doing enough.
- You will be last. Your hygiene will be last, your needs will be last, you will be the last one to eat, to shower, to sit down, to relax. The other night I had bad stomach cramps and realized I had waited hours to pee. I just didn't make the time! Ridiculous! The antidote to this, of course, is to simply "carve out time for yourselves" like all the experts recommend. And it is possible. My kids are at an age where they can read, rest, go on their "devices" and leave me alone for an hour. I just feel guilty asking for that hour. But I know I need to and you do too. Taking a shower, shaving your legs, washing your hair, going pee...these should not be luxuries. These are necessities and we wouldn't expect anyone else to go without these basics so we shouldn't accept it for ourselves either. My husband doesn't feel a shred of guilt when sitting down with a book, sipping coffee quietly in the corner while checking his e-mail or napping when necessary. I don't know why I do. I'm learning slowly. Kids need to see you put you first. Repeat after me...they will be fine. I promise!
- Your kids will eat more junk and watch more tv than you ever expected. Your standard will go down. It just will. When my daughter was born, I made all her baby food, visited farm stands for fresh fruits and veggies, and made all our meals from scratch. Then I had another. Then I got a full-time job. And a divorce. And a new marriage. And more kids. And then...I took it easy. I make as many things homemade as possible, eat fast food as infrequently as possible and attempt to create well balanced meals whenever possible. BUT. Chick-Fil-A is my friend. So is Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, Trader Jo's frozen pizza, my Crock-Pot and my kid's Ipads. Look. As long as we're all doing our best, loving each other and most importantly, living a life to magnify the Lord, then we're doing okay. I am SO over the whole mommy competition thing. Ain't nobody got time for that. So take is easy, mommas and take a nap. Or get a pedicure or go ahead and make that dinner from scratch, if that's your thing. If not, take the help where you can get it!
There you have it. And there I am below, in all my glory, offering my daughter a marshmallow because it says right there on the package, "Great for snacking!"