Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Elimination Communication AKA Early Potty Training

I made a few videos recently on the benefits of early potty training and decided I’d follow them up with a written blog for those of you who would like to be able to refer back to it. Potty training is a lot of work no matter how old the child, but I’ve found that when it’s done earlier, before your baby can talk back or run away from you, the better! It’s really a simple thing, using the potty, but training your child to do it can feel like anything but. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you want to try:
-First, make sure you can commit the time and energy to begin. Consistency is everything. Don’t bother starting if you can’t follow through.
-Expect to take baby to the bathroom every fifteen minutes to begin.
-Choose a sound to make every time you take baby so they can begin to make an association with the sound and go more quickly.
-Be prepared for extra laundry in the beginning! Babies will have accidents at first so be ready. Have lots of cotton pants and shorts handy and don’t bother with any clothing items with fussy buttons or zippers. Quick access is important!
-Enlist help if possible. 15 minutes go by very quickly and you will get tired of taking baby. Even now that my son goes every 30-45 minutes, I appreciate every time my husband volunteers to take him.
-Be confident! People may look at you weird in a public restroom, you may end up covered in pee at some point and your friends may think you are crazy but remember the goal!
There are so many benefits to potty training your baby early including saving money on diapers and preventing nasty diaper rashes. I honestly can’t think of a reason not to do it! Please let me know your thoughts and what worked for you!

Thursday, January 9, 2020

What Failure Looks Like

This afternoon, as I got my seven month old down for a nap, I couldn’t help but think “Man, I’m failing today!” There are still dishes in the sink from lunch, I haven’t spent one on one time with my older kids who are home on Christmas break, my hunny and I left on not so great terms as he left for a work meeting (because I bit his head off out of exhaustion) and once again I’m feeling guilty for napping while baby naps, leaving the big kids to fend for themselves. I feel like I should be crafting with them or baking or...something but I’m just too tired. I feel like I should have done my makeup and hair this morning and chosen something other than leggings and a sweatshirt to wear...again. And I constantly worry that I’m not paying enough attention to my hubby, that the soup I gave him was too cold or that the lunch I packed him for work wasn’t good enough, and that it's been far too long since date night. Seriously, these are things that prey on my mind!
But then I had a thought. What if I change my definitions of failure and success? WHY do I feel like I’m failing? What standard am I using? So as I sat and nursed my son, I made a mental list of all the things I had accomplished in the day.
First, I read scripture. I always try to start my day off by reading my bible and I’m so glad I did! Next I took a shower then headed to the grocery early and got in and out before my kiddos even knew I was missing. Next I made a big pot of soup and got a few meals prepped for the week while I caught up with my hunny over coffee. Then I made the kiddos chicken sandwiches for lunch and watched some tv with them. While I did bite my hubby’s head off for not “validating my feelings” (poor guy..) I quickly sent him an apology text and he reminded me that he just wants to be my hero but is at a loss for words at times. All was forgiven. I kissed my kids a thousand times today, administered antibiotic to the sick ones, read with them, played Scattegories and showed interest in the myriad of projects they were into. I guess I didn’t do half bad.
I think it’s high time I start looking at the good and forget the idea of perfection—it’s just not happening. Kids are kids. Families are messy and life is always in flux. I may not always look or feel my best but God knows I’m trying. And God meets me right where I am...tired, cranky, empty and He fills me right back up! I want to be supermom and superwife and I think if I used a different measuring stick, like the one my husband and kids use, I would be hitting it out of the park. They think I’m pretty awesome so I think it’s time to believe it for myself!
Ever struggle with feelings of inadequacy???

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Getting My Groove Back..Again!

Understandably, postpartum is not the sexiest time in a woman’s life. Case in point: As I sit here typing, I have my seven month old nursing on me while milk is dripping down my stomach, I haven’t showered yet and I was finally able to eat dinner...at 10:30 at night. I’m in a pair of tattered sweatpants, a breastmilk stained t-shirt and I am sporting a mom bun. There is just nothing sexy about this..unless of course, you ask my husband. For some reason, he’s still got it for me. He believes that pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum stage are all extremely beautiful. He loves seeing me nurse, take care of the baby and often looks after our little one so I can nap.
I, on the other hand, am having trouble being as good to myself. Now, after seven months, things have definitely improved but having a baby is hard, period. Maybe it’s because I have unrealistic expectations of myself or maybe because I bounced back quickly with my other kids that I can’t seem to let go of the idea that like a brand new rubber band, I’m just going to SNAP! back...physically, emotionally and mentally. As much as I look like myself on the outside, I don’t feel like I’m quite myself yet. My energy hasn’t returned and I’m still not sleeping through the night.
I think us new mamas need to be better and kinder to ourselves and try to see ourselves as others do. Here are a few things that are helping me stay sane:
- Nap when baby naps. I know, I know..it’s easier said than done because if you’re like me, you have a million things to do and it’s easier when baby is asleep. Or maybe you just want some quiet time to watch tv or read or shower in peace. I hear ya! But if you are not rested, you will be no good for anyone. Because babies sleep a lot, designate just one of their naps for your nap time as well. Maybe it’s when hubby is home so he can watch other kiddos or when the other kiddos are at school. I like to nap first thing in the morning after dropping the older ones at school. Just make it happen. You’d be surprised what good a power nap can do.
- Let baby cry. Again, I know this is easier said than done but if my son is fussing and I know he is just tired, I let him cry a for few minutes before soothing him. If I run to pick him up every time he cries, I’m teaching him bad habits and constantly have to stop in the middle of things to tend to him. So I finish loading the dishwasher, folding the clothes or taking my shower before coming to his rescue.
- Speaking of coming to the rescue, let people help you. I have a hard time with this because I like to do things my way but if you don’t let people help, you will burn out very quickly. Teach older kids how to do a few household chores and let your husband run the errands. If a neighbor offers to make you dinner or watch your kids, let them! You can’t do it alone.
- Take time for yourself. Read a book, take time to pray, talk to a friend on the phone, go for a quick walk or paint your nails. Taking care of yourself is so important and you will be better equipped to take care of others if you put the oxygen mask on yourself first.
- Learn to say no. You cannot possibly have the same life you had before baby, that’s just the way it is. Accept it and move on. Life is going to be messy for a while so you need to prioritize. Babies have so many needs and are so demanding that you will not have the energy you used to have so you may have to say no to things you were able to do in your past life. With the exception of a few visits here and there, I have basically been a recluse. One of these days I will be able to take on more but for now, I have to take it easy. So stop feeling guilty!
- Make time for other kiddos, letting them help you, nap with you or sit and read next to you while baby nurses. Just do your best to make sure they feel involved.
Good luck and hang in there! How do you manage your new baby?